OBSCURE O.V.A.S, *The Ultimate Teacher

Having no relation to the similarly titled The Ultimate Otaku Teacher anime TV series, this specific 1988 OVA one-shot was based on Atsuji Yamamoto 2-volume manga series and was directed by former Yamato animator Toyoo Ashida who was influenced by American cartoonists. The anime produced by J.C. Staff in 1989 was one of U.S. Manga Corps' earliest English dubs featuring a number of Canadian voice actors from Ranma 1/2 and Dragonball, even though it got a limited release on VHS and LD with no DVD at all before its license expired. The Ultimate Teacher is a farcical satire mainly poking fun of teen delinquent genre that Cromartie High School would mine to death later on, except this OVA relies mostly on erratic comedy and bizarre background characters.

The battle worn campus of Emperor School which has a gravesite for all its now brutally murdered faculty gets a new teacher, the even stranger Ganpachi who has a kink about clinging to the side of walls. He plans major discipline for the rowdy students, but the main leader of all the school's punks, the evidently mild-mannered Hinako. Ganpachi is shocked and delighted that Hinako gets a major portion of her unnatural strength from wearing child bloomers, and our unusual newbie plots to take her down using either defeated enemies of attacking at a convenience store or psyching her out by himself and his goons also wearing kids shorts, of which Ganpachi has an unlimited supply of that takes up a whole hill of panties. The new teacher is really an escaped prisoner that was experimented on and given the DNA of a cockroach making him nearly indestructible. To fight Ganpachi, one of the scientists that worked on him had his genes spliced with a spider so now he can shoot webs out of backside as he teams up with Hinako in a dragged-out climax.

A single OVA was a limited field to try and cram this entire manga story into a production under an hour running time. The story streaks along leaving little chance to catch your breath when you're trying to mentally pull together everything you just saw, like the school's hallways filled with corpses after the students leave a trap of infinite kettles to fall on the hapless principal. There are boundless gags taking up most of the actual plot which is slipshod with no direction to it. The dub is impressive with future Barbie actress Kelly Sheridan as Hinako, and Scott McNeil using his Wolverine voice as Kenpachi. With the American copyright being long run out, you're going to be in for a serious scavenger hunt trying to get a physical copy of The Ultimate Teacher(the original one).