Oh, my God! They killed Ben Tramer! You bastard!

ANI-MOVIES, *The Pirates: Band Of Misfits

Originally titled The Pirates In An Adventure With Scientists, this UK animated film was created by Aardman Animations, most noted for the Wallace And Grommit films. Based on Gideon Defoe's first Pirates book, Peter Lord again directed this production which was largely popularized due to Disney's Pirates Of The Carribean series, but managed to maintain its own signature among filmgoers who were tired of the whole "pirates" genre.

Set in the mid-19th Century, a crew of no-name pirates lead by their captain, Pirate Captain, who hopes to finally win the coveted Pirate Of The Year after dozens of failed attempts. Several failed raids lead them to crossing paths with Charles Darwin on another of his expeditions. Darwin is surprised to find that the pirates' parrot is in fact the last known dodo bird, and convinces them to take the endling England for a science exposition. Pirate Captain and his crew manage to win while disguised as scientists, but their deception is uncovered when confronted by the pirate-hating Queen Victoria. However, the Queen offers a treasure trove to Pirate Captain for the dodo to be part of her personal zoo. Pirate Captain takes the booty, and wins Pirate Of The Year, but his status as a pirate is revoked by his fellow swashbucklers with they find out the Queen pardoned him. Pirate Captain meets up with a dejected Darwin to learn the Queen actually took his dodo to a special meeting of world leaders that dine on endangered animals. Pirate Captain, Darwin, and the rest of the crew get back together to save their feathered friend, and really stick it to the royalty.

This wasn't exactly geared towards the youngsters with some cheeky adult humor thrown in here and there. The Pirates: Bands Of Misfits works better as another humorous Aardman creation for film lovers. There's a tremendous cast of talent behind it, including Hugh Grant, David Tennent, Martin Freeman, and Brian "effing" Blessed! The stop-motion animation is in good form, although still not near the epic levels of Laika. Fans of most Aardman films will enjoy it, but might appeal to fans of sporadic British madcap comedy.

Fuck DCU App!!!

MISC. MANGA, *Record Of Lodoss War: The Lady Of Pharis

This prequel to original Record Of Lodoss War: The Grey Witch manga, and the original OVA and anime TV series, this was conceived by the creator, Ryo Mizuno, and brought to life by artist Akihiro Yamada. It was first released in the 90s after The Grey Witch, and then later released in English in the early 2000s by CPM Manga, first in comic book format, then as a trade paperback, followed by an extended first volume, and finally as a second volume which featured the rest of the printed material, making both complete volumes very rare buys for American otaku.

Set decades before the time known as The War of Kings, a wicked Duke seeking power unleashes a creature known as the Demon Lord who appears as a young naked woman. The Demon Lord then sends her legions of monsters to ravage all over the fantasy island of Lodoss. A mercenary called Beld and his wizard partner Wort come across the sexy warrior priestess Flaus(also the title character!)who employs them to help protect her region. A holy knight named Fahn joins them in order to clear his name when a doppelganger working for the demons stole some relics that are used to protect his kingdom. They are later joined by a surviving dwarf king, and elf girl, and a masked sorceress. Their crusade leads them to help the elves purge their forest of demons. This leads into the War Against Evil which went on for three years, and shaped the kingdoms of Lodoss.

The Lady of Pharis brings a darker tone to the Lodoss storyline, and Yamada's artwork takes a less than familiar look to the anime/manga's history. It appears more like traditional fantasy illustrations instead of the standard "big eyes and speed lines". More in the set of a dark fantasy like Berserk or Bastard. The manga isn't as readily available if you wanted to find the entire series in both completed volumes, but might want to sample one of the single issues which are considerably cheaper.

Which one of these buttons do I push to make Lara Croft have sex with me in real life?

ANI-MOVIES: *From Up On Poppy Hill

Based on a short-lived 80s manga, From Up On Poppy Hill is a coming of age story set in 1963 Japan, just prior to them getting the Olympics(the first time). It was produced by Studio Ghibli, and the second one to be directed by Goro Miyazaki, whose father Hayao wrote the screenplay for along with Keiko Niwa. As more of a slice-of-life tale than the usual Ghibli fantasy, this movie acts a self-aware teenage melodrama.

Umi is the main caretaker of her grandmother's boarding house for ladies. Her mother is studying medicine in America, and her father disappeared during the Korean War. She keeps setting up a flag for ships in the harbor near her house, hoping deep down that her father will recognize it should he return. The school she goes to has an old dilapidated building called the Quartier Latin used by several clubs made entirely of boys, and it is under danger of being demolished to give Tokyo a fresh look when the Olympics come. The head of the school's journalism club Shun is one of the main campaigners trying to save the Quartier Latin, who also wrote about Umi's tradition of setting up her flags. Umi seems to fall for Shun in his heroic efforts to keep the clubhouse up, and convinces a lot of the school's girls to help clean up the joint which prior to that looked like a disaster area for bookworms. Despite their fiery crusade, the clubhouse is still threatened with being torn down, and even though Umi finds her feeling growing for Shun, he discovers from an old photograph that the two of them might have the same father, thus they can't go any further without turning the plot into a stereotypical incest harem anime. The return of Umi's mother from the States sets the story straight on their shared background.

This works as a splendid period piece in the same way the flashback portions of Only Yesterday give the look of 1960s Japan when the nation was trying to speed along progress in order to bury their past of the previous wars. There is some genuine character growth and comradery among the high school students as they try desperately to rescue their clubhouse, which ends up taking a larger portion of the story than the budding teen romance. The animation is not exactly as breathtaking as your average Ghibli production, but as setting is more based in reality in place of the spirit world. The American dub features some surprising additions including Ron Howard, Gillian Anderson, Jamie Lee Curtis, and the late Anton Yelchin as Shun. Probably one of the single most charming anime movies of the new millennium!

Nike-man to the rescue!