ANI-MOVIES, *The Fantastic Mr. Fox

Roald Dahl has left a long legacy in children’s literature. Many of his works have been turned into movies, including: Charlie And The Chocolate Factory/Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory, The Witches, plus James And The Giant Peach. Revered director Wes Anderson went an extra step further for making this film the first fully-animated adaptation of one of Dahl’s books.

Set in the British countryside(even though most of the cast has American accents!), Mr. Fox has to give up his life of stealing from farmers to start up a family with Mrs. Fox. A few fox years into it, their son Ash is going through his akward teenage phase while resenting having his cousin Kristofferson moving in on his territory at school. Mr. Fox decides though to move his family into a new place, while at the same time planning heists on the three local major farms with his new landlord possum, Kylie. After somewhat successfully strealing from them, the ex-Nazi owner of the cider ranch that Fox stole from plans to go WWII on his ass by attacking his new home. After he and the other two farmers run them out, the Fox family heads for the sewers along with the rest of most of the forest critters. The animals then dig under the farms and totally wipe out their stock. The farmers retaliate by flooding them out into the sewers, and eventually capture Kristofferson thinking that he’s Ash. Fox then leads a rescue mission to get Kristofferson back with Ash and Kylie. The Fox family then make a new home underneath a supermarket which happens to be owned by all the farmers.

This movie mixed stop-motion animation with computer effects pretty well, especially since it was done by Henry Selick, whose wizardry includes his own movie Coraline, and The Nightmare Before Christmas. Selick also worked on the animation for Anderson’s The Life Aquatic. I was very suprised with the detail given to the animals’ fur and expressions. There are times when the characters seem slightly out of place, like the 4ft. rat that worked for the farmers. Plus, they never explain why the regular forest animals wear clothes and can talk, while the other animals like bloodhounds and wolves are just regular animals. I was suprised though at how much good criticism this film got, especially from critics who aren’t normally fans of animation. I thought it was in all a good movie overall, although not as funny as it could have been at times. Despite its charm, its not totally a movie for the entire family, but is truly one for the ages, and I have to say I’m impressed with its look at old fashion style for a modern day production.

ANI-MOVIES, *Batman: Sub-Zero

Also called Batman & Mr. Freeze: SubZero, this was the second full-length animated movie of the Darknight Detective, although, this was the first one to be specifically made-for-video. It was meant to draw attention to the Batman franchise enough to coincide with the appauling Batman & Robin live-action movie, although most people were suprised at how much better this film was from that one.

The story takes place after Season 3 of Batman: The Animated Series, but sometime prior to when Dick Grayson left to become Nightwing. Mr. Freeze has been hanging out in the North Pole with his trained polar bears, and his wife Nora has been “chilling” inside the same oversized snowglobe until Freeze can find a cure for her. Unfortunately, an arctic exploration crew crashes his pad, causing Nora to relapse into her disease. Making his way to Gotham, Freeze abducts Belson, an old medical colleague who is desperate to make some quick money to pay off some debts. Freeze offers him a gold deposit to help him save Nora. They look for an compatible donor to replace one of Nora’s organs that was damaged(which one is never said), and their search leads them to Barbara Gordon. After kicking some ass as Batgirl, Barbara goes out with Dick on what looks like the beginning of their romance. Freeze breaks up their date, and kidnaps Barbara. Dick and Bruce head to the Batpoles and locate where Barbara is being held, which is at an offshore oil rig. Barbara manages to get away, but Belson accidently starts a fire. Nora gets trapped underneath in the fire, so Mr. Freeze helps Batman and Robin get her out of the burning wreck, although Freeze seemingly doesn’t make it out. Although the movie concludes with Freeze back in the Arctic conveniently making it to an outpost station to see the CNN report that Nora recovered thanks to Bruce Wayne’s big wallet.

Of the three original Batman: TAS animated movies, this one probably has the weaker plot to it. I don’t mind them bringing back Mr. Freeze, although you would’ve had to see the prior episodes of the series to get his backstory which is pretty essential for watching this movie. There also is an absence of the Batman Family doing much any real “crime-fighting” in this, aside from a scene at the beginning where the Dynamic Duo make a real thing about stopping a couple of crooks when they could’ve taken them out easily. It’s also a little disappointing when we catch up with Freeze again in Season 4 of the TV series where he returns again as an emo psychopath because he’s then just a head on a robot spider-legs(BTW, Freeze’s suit was originally designed by Mike Mignola of Hellboy fame). I’d say that your average Bat-Fan would like this, but only if they had the TV series boxset to go with it.

ANI-MOVIES, *Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs

With the prior success of Open Season and Surfs Up scoring them some points in theatres, Sony Pictures Animation followed up with a movie based on the children’s story from the 1970s by Judi & Ron Barrett. This relatively short book was concieved into being a full-length motion picture by Chris Miller and Phil Lord, who created the cult MTV animated series, Clone High.

Set on a small island off the American east coast, Flint Lockwood is a tinkerer who has spent a good portion of his life coming up with invention-after-invention, all of which have failed, including his spray-on shoes which have never come off since he put tested them on himself as a kid. His father wants him to help around his tackle shop, but Flint tries one more take at achieving his dream of being a great inventor. He makes a machine that is supposed to transform water into any kind of desired food, but he ends up accidently sending it into the atmosphere which starts turning the moisture in the air into random food. Flint manages to set up a way of controlling the machine so that he can make it rain whatever food the townspeople want. The greedy mayor convinces him to help use this as a tourist attraction for the town, but Flint mainly wants to do this to impress Sam, the cute weather reporter from New York reporting on the falling food phenomenon. He even goes to the lengths of making an entire castle made of jello to win her over. Unfortunately, the machine goes haywire, and starts dropping giant entries all over the globe. Flint and Sam, along with their mistmatched crew, head off in Flint’s jet car(which now has wings!)into the eye of the food-storm, and manage to stop the machine before the entire world is covered in takeout, even though everyone in the town has to escape on pizza-boats.

I’ll was really impressed with the animation in this. What really bought it for me was the cartoonish look of the characters and the world they lived in, while keeping it very detailed and slightly realistic. The movie goes the extra step to ellaborate from the original source material of how the small town started having it rain food. It pays homage to alot of disaster flicks, and this shows with the hilarious scenes of entire cities being ravaged by falling giant pancakes. There are some intensely funny moments in this, and I loved all the running gags with Flint’s failed former experiments. It’s a clever comedy for the whole family, and any film that has both Bruce Campbell and Mr. T in it is a solid win!

JESI THE GENIE, *Part 4: Page 16

Story by Jer Alford, art by E. Aedo.

Top 10 Green-Skinned Girls

Let's face it, emerald lasses in sci-fi and fantasy are the ones fanboys have always had a real thing for. Whether they are from comics, movies, or TV, green gals are way hotter than those prissy blue chicks. Even Smurfettes and Navi' dames ain't got nothing on She-Hulks and Orion hotties. So, here's the top 10 green-skinned girls in the history of geekdom!

10. LYJA from Fantastic Four

At first thought of being one of the only "good" Skrulls, Lyja was an agent from the Skrulls sent to spy on the World's Greatest Superheroes as Thing's squeeze, Alicia Masters, but eventually fell for Human Torch. Even after her secret was revealed, she still managed to seduce both Thing and Torchy. Being able to shapeshift into any human form(top that, Mystique!), she can also shoot out lasers. Despite her slightly gruff chin, Lyja has a smokin' hot bod, and can also make herself into any Playboy Centerfold you'd want!  

9. BENNY from Looking For Group

Benn'Joon("Benny" for short)is a half-breed, meaning she's half-human, although her other half is unknown, but possibly troll. Despite her fangs and dual digits on each hand, Benny has an unbelievably great rack, which is usually gratuitously exposed. She's an accomplished priestess, who can not only heal by bring the dead back to life, or at least the mostly-dead. Benny is the resident babe in her RPG fellowship, but she's a fresh change of pace from your regular elf whore.

8. GAMORA from Marvel Comics

Another galactic terror from the Marvel Universe, this greenie is the last of her kind, which kinda sucks because their women are hotter than the Skrulls. She's a super-strong space barbarian who was adopted by Darkseid-wannabe, Thanos. Gamora has been sent on numerous errands to get the Infinty Gauntlet, and usually ends up either screwing or trying to kill heroes like Nova or Adam Warlock, or switching sides to join the Guardians of the Galaxy. You don't know whether you want her to take her to the point of ecstasy, or just let her kill you.

7. SHEGO from Kim Possible

Shego is a former superhero-turned-supervillain. With the power to shoot out energy blasts and having slightl invulnerability, Shego usually hires herself out as a merc for high-paying bad guys. She has a major rivalry with "secret agent" Kim Possible, and this acts as her motivation for alot of her evil-doings. Despite being an occasional sidekick for Dr. Draken, Shego is capable of being a compentent villain on her own as she did end up taking over the world in an alternate timeline. She's got a great sense of style in her Harlequin catsuit, and her deviousness makes her very delicious.

6. OOLA from Star Wars

Even George Lucus wasn't immune to adding an obligatory green alien babe in his space opus. Oola is one of several Twi'leks who appear in the Star Wars "hexalogy", but she's the first one we're introduced to, and she's also pretty much the only green one we meet. A few other ones appear as blue, red, white, pink, etc., but Oola is a distinctly sexy shade of green. She's one of Jabba the Hutt's slavebabes, who unfortunately buys it in the Rancor pit. Sexy dancer Femi Taylor played her in both the original Return Of The Jedi, looked just as smashing reprising her role in the Special Edition done years later. Jabba was a damned idiot for turning that fine mama into Rancor poodoo.

5. POISON IVY from Batman

Even though she wasn't green gal to begin with, Pamela Isley was a botanist who was schoolchums with Swamp Thing, and was turned into a test experiment by her professor(who later became the villain Floronic Man). She can give of poisons, and control men with her pheramones. Ivy mutates with the power to communicate and control plants, which also turns her skin green. P.I. has flip-flopped between supervillain and superhero, unless she was getting drafted by Suicide Squad or the Secret Society. Her possible yuri relationship with Harley Quinn brings her hotness to the boiling point. Just remember, it's not nice to f**k with Mother Nature!

4. ELPHABA from Wicked The Wicked Witch of the West as she was portrayed in the Wizard Of Oz prequal book and musical was vastly different from her classical movie counterpart. Elphaba(or "Elphie/Fae/Fabala")was a girl in the merry old land of Oz mysteriously born green, although to mention why would be a major spoiler. While seen as an outcast because of her slighty unfashionable skintone, she seems to blend in when she reaches the E.C. Elphaba eventually learns magic, even though she's thought of being a witch long before she even started reading from Harry Potter's old textbooks. Her possible yuri releationship with Glinda is equally kinky, and makes her intriguingly sexy in a dark-Lolita kind of way. I'll admit I have a soft-spot for Elphie, and think she's totally a better witch than that upstart who pricked Sleeping Beauty!

3. JADE from Green Lantern

The daughter of the original GL from the Golden Age follows in her daddy's footsteps as an emerald avenger. Jade naturally has the ability to mimic the powers of a power ring, plus control plants. So, she's like a Green Lantern mixed with Poison Ivy! She actually joins the Green Lanterns later on, even though she's been in nearly every other superhero group in the DC Universe, Jade has jumped in the sack with GL Kyle Rayner and baddie/hero Brainwave Jr., so she's used to kinky superhero sex! After recently being brought back to life during the Brightest Day event, Jade's currently in the JLA along with a new generation of Leaguers. This luscious part-time model also followed in Starfire's steps by realizing fanboys love a lady of exotic color.

2. SHE-HULK from Incredible Hulk

Otherwise known as the "Savage/Sensational She-Hulk" and "Shulkie", Hulk's cousin recieved her gamma powers after a blood-transfusion from Bruce Banner. She-Hulk is pretty much one of the strongest women in the Marvel Universe, and pre-dates Deadpool as their hero who constantly broke the Fourth Wall. She's been in nearly every non-mutant superhero group, and a she's professional attourney. So, great green gams, and a successful law career to boot! Despite the fact that there are now three She-Hulks, the original one is the lime-flavored cheesecake we really want.

1. MARTA from Star Trek

Alot of people think that Vina from the original Star Trek pilot was the first Orion slave girl, but Marta was the real deal! Vina was just an illusion made by big-brained aliens. Marta is a bellydancing seductress in an intergalactic looney bin. She tries to make out with Kirk(what Trek chick doesn't?)in order to kill him, but unfortunately ends up getting whacked by the inmates who take over the asylum. Marta is #1 on this list for several reasons. One, was she's played by Yyvonne Craig(Batgirl!)who is one of the single sexiest sirens of the 60s. Another reason is you gotta love a chick who wants to do you and then do you in. The main reason is though is that Marta is arguably the first live-action green chick in TV/movies, and she broke the mold when she did.

ANI-MOVIE, *The Animatrix

While anime-styled productions like Dark Fury, Batman: Gotham Knight, and Van Helsing: The London Assignment try to act as tie-ins to existing movie franchises, The Animatrix was one of the first of these types of animated films. Originally an online series (or “ONA”), this was a compilation of nine episodes, all dealing with seperate aspects of The Matrix trilogy. Four of these episodes premiered online, while the rest of them were first featured on the video release of the complete movie.

The first story, Final Flight Of The Osiris, was animated by Square Pictures, who also did Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within. This acts as a direct prelude to The Matrix Reloaded where the human crew of the hovercraft Osiris discover that the machine army is drilling directly into the underground city of Zion, so they send their Aeon Flux-wannabe into the Matrix to deliver this news to the humans. Unfortunately, the machines down the ship, and everyone buys it in the end. This had some pretty decent CGI in it, although it seems mostly dated by today’s standards. It also leads into the Enter The Matrix video game.

Following this is a 2-part story which actually gives a comprehensive history of how the world was eventually taken over by the machines. In The Second Renaissance, Mahiro Madea of Kill Bill fame animated this ellaborate retelling of mankind’s downfall from the perspectrive of the Zion computer archives that is represented as a goddess figure called The Instructor. She relays how the human race had created robots to do all their work, but they eventually rebelled. The machines start up their own city, which the humans weirdly enough open up trades with, although this sends the human economy into the sewers. The humans then decide to go to all out war with the machines by blocking out the sun, their main source of power. Of course, the machines eventually win, and begin to harvest the human minds. This origin is not totally compatible with the regular Matrix story as it was stated in the first movie that the entire history was sketchy due to the humans’ lack of information on it. This is possibly an idealized version of what was supposed to have happened based on what the future Zionites thought it would be.

Next is Kid’s Story where we’re introduced to the Kid(yep, he’s got no real name!), who was that annoying teenager who kept stalking Neo in Reloaded, and how he freed himself from the Matrix. This was directed by Shinichiro Watanabe of Cowboy Bebop. World Record(by Ninja Scroll‘s Yoshiaki Kawajiri)follows this same premise about an athlete who almost breaks free of the illusion of the Matrix. Kawajiri also directed the Program segment which is unfortunately the shortest one in the whole movie about a girl training in one of the humans’ VR sims which is modeled after feudal Japan, and is nearly taken out by what she is led to believe as a defector to the machines. This part features some very dynamic action, which make you wich that Kawajiri would do another full-length ninja/samurai movie.

After this is Beyond(by Koji Morimoto of Memories)where some kids find a glitch in the Matrix which they think is a haunted house. Next is A Detective’s Story where a private eye in the Matrix is hired by Agents to hunt down Trinity. Shinichiro Watanabe takes his knack for genre films and applies it beautifully to this noir piece.

Finally, is Matriculated by Aeon Flux creator Peter Cheung, where some humans working above-ground to capture robots and try to win them over to their side by using surrealistic VR, although they all end up getting killed off by other robots. This is the longest bit in the anthology, and is well executed, but at the same time gets too bogged down with the entire dreamlike sim used on the robot.

The Animatrix represented a major change in the way American animated media was handled, by having it branch out to different media like anime. On its own, it blazes alot of trails, and is worth viewing at least for seeing the eclectic views based on a similar theme. A better example of this would be Robot Carnival which is not currently available in America. Granted, this is a must for anyone who actually dug all three Matrix films, and is available in most of the collected editions of the trilogy.

JESI THE GENIE, *Part 4: Page 15

Story by Jer Alford, art by E. Aedo.