Saturday, September 8, 2012

Top 10 Green-Skinned Girls

Let's face it, emerald lasses in sci-fi and fantasy are the ones fanboys have always had a real thing for. Whether they are from comics, movies, or TV, green gals are way hotter than those prissy blue chicks. Even Smurfettes and Navi' dames ain't got nothing on She-Hulks and Orion hotties. So, here's the top 10 green-skinned girls in the history of geekdom!

10. LYJA from Fantastic Four

At first thought of being one of the only "good" Skrulls, Lyja was an agent from the Skrulls sent to spy on the World's Greatest Superheroes as Thing's squeeze, Alicia Masters, but eventually fell for Human Torch. Even after her secret was revealed, she still managed to seduce both Thing and Torchy. Being able to shapeshift into any human form(top that, Mystique!), she can also shoot out lasers. Despite her slightly gruff chin, Lyja has a smokin' hot bod, and can also make herself into any Playboy Centerfold you'd want!  

9. BENNY from Looking For Group

Benn'Joon("Benny" for short)is a half-breed, meaning she's half-human, although her other half is unknown, but possibly troll. Despite her fangs and dual digits on each hand, Benny has an unbelievably great rack, which is usually gratuitously exposed. She's an accomplished priestess, who can not only heal by bring the dead back to life, or at least the mostly-dead. Benny is the resident babe in her RPG fellowship, but she's a fresh change of pace from your regular elf whore.

8. GAMORA from Marvel Comics

Another galactic terror from the Marvel Universe, this greenie is the last of her kind, which kinda sucks because their women are hotter than the Skrulls. She's a super-strong space barbarian who was adopted by Darkseid-wannabe, Thanos. Gamora has been sent on numerous errands to get the Infinty Gauntlet, and usually ends up either screwing or trying to kill heroes like Nova or Adam Warlock, or switching sides to join the Guardians of the Galaxy. You don't know whether you want her to take her to the point of ecstasy, or just let her kill you.

7. SHEGO from Kim Possible

Shego is a former superhero-turned-supervillain. With the power to shoot out energy blasts and having slightl invulnerability, Shego usually hires herself out as a merc for high-paying bad guys. She has a major rivalry with "secret agent" Kim Possible, and this acts as her motivation for alot of her evil-doings. Despite being an occasional sidekick for Dr. Draken, Shego is capable of being a compentent villain on her own as she did end up taking over the world in an alternate timeline. She's got a great sense of style in her Harlequin catsuit, and her deviousness makes her very delicious.

6. OOLA from Star Wars

Even George Lucus wasn't immune to adding an obligatory green alien babe in his space opus. Oola is one of several Twi'leks who appear in the Star Wars "hexalogy", but she's the first one we're introduced to, and she's also pretty much the only green one we meet. A few other ones appear as blue, red, white, pink, etc., but Oola is a distinctly sexy shade of green. She's one of Jabba the Hutt's slavebabes, who unfortunately buys it in the Rancor pit. Sexy dancer Femi Taylor played her in both the original Return Of The Jedi, looked just as smashing reprising her role in the Special Edition done years later. Jabba was a damned idiot for turning that fine mama into Rancor poodoo.

5. POISON IVY from Batman

Even though she wasn't green gal to begin with, Pamela Isley was a botanist who was schoolchums with Swamp Thing, and was turned into a test experiment by her professor(who later became the villain Floronic Man). She can give of poisons, and control men with her pheramones. Ivy mutates with the power to communicate and control plants, which also turns her skin green. P.I. has flip-flopped between supervillain and superhero, unless she was getting drafted by Suicide Squad or the Secret Society. Her possible yuri relationship with Harley Quinn brings her hotness to the boiling point. Just remember, it's not nice to f**k with Mother Nature!
4. ELPHABA from Wicked The Wicked Witch of the West as she was portrayed in the Wizard Of Oz prequal book and musical was vastly different from her classical movie counterpart. Elphaba(or "Elphie/Fae/Fabala")was a girl in the merry old land of Oz mysteriously born green, although to mention why would be a major spoiler. While seen as an outcast because of her slighty unfashionable skintone, she seems to blend in when she reaches the E.C. Elphaba eventually learns magic, even though she's thought of being a witch long before she even started reading from Harry Potter's old textbooks. Her possible yuri releationship with Glinda is equally kinky, and makes her intriguingly sexy in a dark-Lolita kind of way. I'll admit I have a soft-spot for Elphie, and think she's totally a better witch than that upstart who pricked Sleeping Beauty!

3. JADE from Green Lantern

The daughter of the original GL from the Golden Age follows in her daddy's footsteps as an emerald avenger. Jade naturally has the ability to mimic the powers of a power ring, plus control plants. So, she's like a Green Lantern mixed with Poison Ivy! She actually joins the Green Lanterns later on, even though she's been in nearly every other superhero group in the DC Universe, Jade has jumped in the sack with GL Kyle Rayner and baddie/hero Brainwave Jr., so she's used to kinky superhero sex! After recently being brought back to life during the Brightest Day event, Jade's currently in the JLA along with a new generation of Leaguers. This luscious part-time model also followed in Starfire's steps by realizing fanboys love a lady of exotic color.

2. SHE-HULK from Incredible Hulk

Otherwise known as the "Savage/Sensational She-Hulk" and "Shulkie", Hulk's cousin recieved her gamma powers after a blood-transfusion from Bruce Banner. She-Hulk is pretty much one of the strongest women in the Marvel Universe, and pre-dates Deadpool as their hero who constantly broke the Fourth Wall. She's been in nearly every non-mutant superhero group, and a she's professional attourney. So, great green gams, and a successful law career to boot! Despite the fact that there are now three She-Hulks, the original one is the lime-flavored cheesecake we really want.

1. MARTA from Star Trek

Alot of people think that Vina from the original Star Trek pilot was the first Orion slave girl, but Marta was the real deal! Vina was just an illusion made by big-brained aliens. Marta is a bellydancing seductress in an intergalactic looney bin. She tries to make out with Kirk(what Trek chick doesn't?)in order to kill him, but unfortunately ends up getting whacked by the inmates who take over the asylum. Marta is #1 on this list for several reasons. One, was she's played by Yyvonne Craig(Batgirl!)who is one of the single sexiest sirens of the 60s. Another reason is you gotta love a chick who wants to do you and then do you in. The main reason is though is that Marta is arguably the first live-action green chick in TV/movies, and she broke the mold when she did.

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